Tuesday, February 12, 2013

A Lady Beheaded

Today is my last day as a lady of leisure.
Having become unemployed on Oct. 26th and now starting back up in the work force after over three months, I find myself reflecting on the time spent (or wasted, see previous blog) and what the future holds.   Well, it's more that I sit wishing and hoping that work will not take over my life and will leave me time for a fraction of the leisurely activities that I have enjoyed the past few months.
There is another thought that dogs me.  Work, as I have known it, is something that must be done out of necessity.  If it is more stressful work, it consumes time and energy, leaving little energy for life's pleasures.  But, what about the possibility of getting pleasure out of your work?  It seems like such a foreign concept, to build a career out of a passion, especially when, like me, your passions are mostly artistic.  It has been almost four years since I graduated college.  When I was in school, surrounded by people who were determined to move to LA and make it work for them in the film industry, I felt inspired to work in film and maybe even theatre.  I was determined that I would become a producer and make films that were artistically old-fashioned.  I think that sort of mania is catching.  I made the decision not to move to LA when I graduated and spent the last three years working in a doctor's office.  The further removed I am from those school chums, the less appealing working in the industry is to me.  The reason for this is, of course, a story for another day.
Needless to say, I see myself approaching 30 and floundering for an idea of what it is I want to do with my life.  Landing a parttime job in a retail store at the age of almost 29 has brought this all home for me, aka I feel like a failure!  And I just needed someone to share it with.  So, thank you faceless internet, for listening to me moan for a bit.
And don't worry about me.  Things are looking up.  After all, series 3 of Luther just wrapped, and series 3 of Sherlock will begin filming soon.  As long as the BBC is around, life really can't be that bad.


Post-script:  After nearly three weeks at the job, I would like to say that I feel much better about myself.  There are other women who work there who are around my age.  In fact, there are some women who are in or around their 40's.  I appreciate this fact beyond words.
That is all.

Monday, February 4, 2013

Time Spent Watching

So much to watch, so little time.
I've been rather remiss in my blog duties lately.  I'd like to say it's because I'm crazy busy and just don't have time, but that's not really the case.  Not at all, actually.
It's hard to come up with things to write about, mainly because I'm not doing much.  I recently moved and am not yet employed.  I'd like to say I spend my time honing different skills like painting or drawing, crocheting or sewing, but let's be honest...I spend way too much time on the internet for that!
Being jobless and mainly friendless in this new city, I have rediscovered the art of watching things.  Ages ago, when I was on my own and going to school to study film, I had so much time to watch things.  It seemed like my nights and weekends, when not socializing, were filled with an endless parade of foreign films and classic movies, of BBC shows and anime series'.   And then I got one of those 9 to 5s and a boyfriend to boot.  My watching repertoire was reduced to new movies, mainly of a SciFi type or something starring Daniel Day Lewis.   I think we might have watched one foreign film in three years, but usually he was too tired to read the subtitles.
So it appears that I've decided to spend my free time (that isn't being spent looking for a job) making up for lost time.  At least, while I sit and rewatch Twin Peaks, I can finish crocheting that scarf that was supposed to be a Christmas present two months ago.  Or while I finally watch that Kurosawa film I've been meaning to see for years, I can think "I should try drawing some of these characters" and never actually get around to it.